Influence and Problem Solving

C.U.B.E. for Conflict

Best Practices

for Influence and Problem Solving

To learn more about CUBE and how to use, please view the CUBE Overview

CREATE CONTEXT & OBJECTIVES

  • Establish an open and collaborative mood.  Center yourself in this mood.

  • Clarify the goal of the conversation—focus on the shared, desired outcome.

  • Be soft on the person and hard on the problem. Care about them personally, but also name the elephant in the room and challenge directly.

  • Create the agenda and timing together.

  • Ensure the right people are included from the start.

UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER’S WORLDS… THEIR WORLD FIRST

  • Be curious: Dig for underlying interests, priorities, and feelings.

  • Stay curious. See dissent as an opportunity to learn.

  • Paraphrase to ensure you heard correctly and demonstrate understanding.

  • Share your interests and priorities.

  • Synthesize: List shared priorities and differences.

BRAINSTORM OPTIONS

  • Set a mood of creativity: Clarify you are brainstorming, not decision-making.

  • Co-create many possible solutions.

  • Expand ideas: Do not narrow into one solution.

  • Redirect critiques back to brainstorming.

END WITH COMMITMENTS

  • Decide and commit to clear next steps (who is doing what by when).

  • Be obstinate about your vision & interests, flexible about tactics.

  • Move the ball down the field with small steps.

  • Ensure everyone fully commits even if they disagree.

  • Setup a check-in, milestone or next conversation.

  • Write an email to summarize the decisions and commitments that were made.

Common Mistakes

for Influence and Problem Solving

CREATE CONTEXT & OBJECTIVES

  • Trying to get to agreement too quickly (1 step forward, 2 steps back).

  • Being too nice and not naming the real intent of the conversation.

  • Unilateral moves including setting up an agenda without a discussion.

  • Having the conversation in the wrong circumstances.

  • Underestimating the importance of mood, e.g. moving forward before cleaning up trust issues.

UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER’S WORLDS… THEIR WORLD FIRST

  • Expecting to be heard before hearing the other person.

  • Solving problems based on solidified positions rather than underlying interests.

  • Believing you understand what’s important to them without confirming  your assumptions.

  • Not empathizing with their perspective, especially when you disagree.

  • Not explicitly sharing your interests and priorities.

BRAINSTORM OPTIONS

  • Focusing on the first solution that seems the best rather than fully exploring possibilities.

  • Judging, critiquing or ignoring ideas while brainstorming. Not gently correcting when others critique or judge.

  • Throwing out ideas without caveating that you are just exploring.

END WITH COMMITMENTS

  • Walking away with two different ideas of next steps.

  • Accepting unrealistic commitments or withholding concerns.

  • Thinking too big rather than just focusing on the next step.

  • Not personally thanking people for what worked in the conversation.

Download the full Survival Guide

In addition to Best Practices and Common Mistakes, you’ll also receive:

  • Introduction

  • Preparation Page

  • Post-Conversation Self-Assessment

Related Offerings

COURSE

How to Prepare

$???

Take full master course.

MINI COURSE

1:1 Spot Coaching

$16.95

Get started now with a short course.

COACHING

Mastering Challenging Conversations

$250/session

Take Master Course.