Peer-to-Peer Constructive Feedback

C.U.B.E. for Conflict

To learn more about CUBE and how to use, please view the CUBE Overview

Best Practices for Peer-to-Peer Constructive Feedback

  • Share your support for the other person and your commitment to a powerful working relationship. 

  • Assume they have positive intentions around their actions and what happened.

  • Request a conversation to increase your effectiveness in working together and to share about something that has had a negative impact on you.  

  • Create alignment around what you would like to create--the vision for what's possible.

  • Find a good time for you both to have the conversation.

  • Ask permission to share your perspective before you move forward.

  • See if they have other issues that they want to discuss as well, e.g. give you feedback.

C

U

REATE CONTEXT & OBJECTIVES

NDERSTAND EACH OTHER’S WORLDS… THEIR WORLD FIRST

  • If possible, share a plus/delta--where you were satisfied and where you weren’t around the tasks or projects. Do not generalize and make it about them.

  • Be clear about the impact on you and the severity of the situation.

  • Own your assessments. Separate facts from interpretations.

  • Ask them how they see it. Appreciate the other person’s view of the situation even if it’s inaccurate or sounds like an excuse. 

  • Stay curious about what you did to contribute to the situation.

  • Create a shared reality and take responsibility for your role.

B

RAINSTORM OPTIONS

  • Co-create many possible solutions to resolve the situation or make things better, including how to support them, communication changes, escalating together, etc.

  • Separately, also discuss how to handle things if (and when) the situation arises in the future.

  • Decide and fully align on clear next steps. Agree to specific actions to deal with the situation if (and when) it happens again.

  • Setup a check-in to discuss changes, progress, and course corrections.

  • Reconfirm your support for the other person.

  • Work together to make it happen and stay in communication.

  • Thank them for the willingness to have the conversation and ask what you could have done better.

E

ND WITH COMMITMENTS

Common Mistakes for Peer-to-Peer Constructive Feedback

  • Waiting too long or not naming the elephant (it makes the next conversation harder).
  • Going in off-center, in public, or when anyone is ready to “snap.”
  • Assuming negative intent or making generalizations or attributions. It should be focused on the behavior, not the person.
  • Forgetting that the goal is to collaborate around a change in behavior, not to deliver a message or beat them up.  Assuming it’s a 1-way street usually backfires and makes you unprepared.
  • Not acting from a mood of support and encouragement.

C

REATE CONTEXT & OBJECTIVES

  • Waiting to address it as a theme about them, rather than addressing it as specific feedback around a task--making it about them, rather than their behavior.
  • Assuming it’s “their fault” and not looking at how you contributed or situational factors.
  • Getting caught up in your own story and not being curious. It’s easy to want to be “right” or to blame rather than focus on the desired result.
  • Not understanding or empathizing with their challenges, obstacles or other uncontrollable factors.
  • Not sharing the level of impact on you or the severity of the consequences.
  • Assuming what’s easy for you is easy for others.

B

NDERSTAND EACH OTHER’S WORLDS… THEIR WORLD FIRST

U

  • Making demands rather than exploring next steps together. 
  • Not exploring options for offering continued support and resources.
  • Forgetting to discuss how to bring this and other things up in the future.

E

RAINSTORM OPTIONS

ND WITH COMMITMENTS

  • No clear next steps or check-ins to continue the learning together.
  • Assuming they have to shift and approaching this as their issue rather than a shared challenge.
  • Underestimating the possibility of a radical shift.

View the Cube Prep Sheet in Google Doc.

How did you do with having this conversation?

View the Post-Conversation Self Assessment.